yesterday was a very bad day. i almost broke up with isaac cos i felt so tired, unappreciated and insulted.
i went out to play bball early in e morning den tennis with my coursemates. he didnt come to tennis as promised. which leads to the pt where i think he has double standards cos when 2 of us do the same wrong thing, i get shit from him but its okie when he does it. den he nv show up i forget it. i went to his place and was greeted w a pissed off face BECOS HE WAS PLAYING W ME. like purposely look at me w angry face. was like "wat e HELL"..den nvm.. i cook him lunch while he studied.. and after i sat down to want to enjoy a bowl of dessert by myself quietly i still must get comments from him.. say i am selfish nv share in his jokin voice.
know all this seems very little when u all read it. but i go thru this everyday la. sometimes i just get so sick of it. den i went hm he also nv come after me.
at night we agrue on MSN and i explain and explain but his replies simply show tt he wasn reading e right words.. he didn understand why i got so angry even after i explained..and conclude tt i was findin fault w him and say I AM JUS HOT TEMPER and i STARTED everything. but i am not bo liao wat.. if u dun press my buttons i won be like a crazy woman right.
i got so angry i storm over to him hse.. and HE WAS WATCHING SOCCER. didn help tt he PLAYED SOCCER in e evening when i was crying at home. i was really thinkin of breakin up w his guy not because i dun love him anymore but cos i am really so sick of his insensitivity.
so i walked ard crying like a idiot for awhile den went to tok to one of my frens.. i off my phone and his hsemates so worried n went ard to find me but he was at home ...watching SOCCER.. cos arsenal was playing.
when i walked out his hsemate ask if he was worried.. he say.. yes i am worried i cannot finish my lecture...e little things tt he does really show my importance to him.
after everything i went home.. watch my csi .. tired from all the crying.. den he called me. ask if i was safe at home.. i said yah and hang up..den he called again ask if we were still goin fremantle. den he came over to my hse and blah blah.. so we are okie now.. but i am weary abt it le.. cos it has happened so many times and its always becos of e same reason.. and i think it keeps coming back not becos i am not trying to change.. but cos he is not trying or making effort to listen... i duno la.. one last straw....
"is feeling numb a feeling??"
